Retirement funds? New kitchen? Manola Blahniks?
In Mexico, I had this experience, which is one of my many Diva Moments in my life.
We are living in our little rental house in the village. We are building our dream house on the hill.
We do not have a washer or dryer. It seems silly to keep paying the women down at the town laundromat to do our laundry.
We decide to buy a cheaper washer to use in the rental home. It will need to be outside in the elements, so I want to wait to buy the really good version for the new house. We go into Melaque, a town about 15 minutes south of us. We purchase a round washer for 1800 pesos, about $180 bucks. They had a more traditional looking washer for 3000 pesos or $300 bucks. Why not get the cheaper one for now?!
We bring it home. We hook it up and realize there is no hose to connect for water, either to fill or to drain. Huh!? Oh, my goodness we need to fill it with a hose each load! Now that is so funny to me. Ok, I can do that.
Then the next tricky part. Draining the water? Oh, you unplug it at the bottom of machine and it drains out, right there on the patio! Whoa, who knew.
Then the part I found unbearable.....it does not wring out the wet clothes!! What? Since we are living in bathing suits, shorts and t-shirts, this should not be a problem.
Holy Moly, have you ever wrung out your bedding? Not fun. What about a beach towel? Definitely not fun.........
So what happens?
I have a temper tantrum, because I am a Diva and I can't live like this!! My husband says not a problem, we will buy a different washing machine. I breathe a sigh of relief, finally I no longer have to live in substandard conditions!!
We are leaving to go buy the second washing machine in a week, and I glance across the street at the woman who lives in the house directly across from us. She has 5 kids. She does all of her dishes in an outside sink area. She washes all of their clothing by hand in the same sink. She does all of this day after day, year after year. I don't know her, but I have not seen her having a temper tantrum about the situation. Maybe she is just happy to have running water......
I stood on the steps of our rental and had a big moment of humility. What a brat I am. What an ungrateful person, and how spoiled am I?
Does that moment of reality change the fact that I wanted a proper washing machine?
Nope......we went and bought the washer that filled, agitated, spun, and drained without assistance.
I gave her the round machine....she was thrilled. I was ashamed....
What you ask is the point of this story? Sometimes when we feel like we are lacking.......it turns out we have more than we need.
I could have been killed on Oct 7th, 2009 in that horrible home invasion, but I was not. They could have killed my husband before they ever got into the house. We lived and I want to be grateful for that every moment of everyday. The truth is being alive is good. Life is good. Period. If I had died would having the right washing machine have mattered? I don't think so. I think what would have mattered would have been whether or not I had lived up until that moment with a full heart. If I had looked at the wonder of what life really is and appreciated it. Truly appreciated it.
As I write this, I find it so funny, because right now we don't have a washing machine. It broke about 3 months ago. We have the luxury of doing laundry at my mom's house. She lives behind us. We no longer have the "luxury" of running out and buying appliances like we have had in the past. The real question today is, would I like to have the round washing machine back? Now that is a funny question, and the answer is no. I can wait until we save up, but that is not the point.....
I have been paralyzed by fear. Fear of not making something somebody would want to buy. Fear of going back to work at a minimum wage job. Fear of wanting too many things, and not having enough time to make the money and to acquire them. Fear based on Lack..... Lack of money. I am so blessed. I am so spoiled. I am so grateful for my husband, my family and my friends. Fear has no place in my life....go away you yucky thing!
Today I am declaring this a FEAR FREE ZONE! It has reared its ugly head and I am cutting it off!
Quote for the day:
"If we simply devote our minds to feeling rich, to being grateful for all the already-apparent riches in our lives - say, our families and our wonderful friends, being broke would disappear. We only experience it because we devote our thoughts to it. That's how powerful our minds are."
Pam Grout
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